December 1: The 100-day Challenge begins

THIS from a woman who has still never gone more than 13 days without a drink. Ever.

I’m really, for sure, I’m not kidding around ready — no, really — and I’ve committed to NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS, I’m not drinking for the next 100 days. I’ve started Belle’s “Sober Jumpstart” class, and part of all of that is a commitment to 100 days alcohol-free, NO MATTER. No excuses. No “experiments.” No one-last-tests or starting-tomorrows or fuck-its-I’m-bored-or-lonely-or-disappointed-or-just-want-to-make-a-mental-exit-who-cares-whys.

Nope. For the next 100 days, I’m strapped in and ready for the ride. No matter fucking what.

No matter fucking what.

Yay! I’ll dance to that…

office-holiday-party-madmen3

And I’ll say I’m off to a good start. My company’s holiday party was tonight and back in the day I would have been ALL OVER the glasses of red wine that were ready at the front door (choosing the fullest one on the tray, of course) before I even had a chance to take my coat off. I was psyched to see they were offering lemonade next to the wine. No problemo.

Four lemonades later I had to pee something fierce, but when the CEO of our larger corporation and two of our company presidents unexpectedly turned to ME for help to make some important stuff happen at the party, guess what? I was completely ready — AND sober and lucid.

And p.s., it wasn’t bad at all not drinking! Not at all. Sure, I left as soon as I could, but so what? Instead of drinking 4 glasses of wine and walking home in the rain, I rode my bike home in the rain(!), and was excited (excited!) to get to my warm bed, my amazing dog (whom I’m sick in love with), pour a cup of tea (with Calm magnesium) and begin reading and writing with all of yous. 🙂

I will say this: I do think all of the work I’ve done these last few months to quit drinking has made it easier to stop each time. It hasn’t gone to waste. It is DEFINITELY progress to be proud of. I’ve never been a “cold turkey” person for pretty much anything and there were still some important lessons for me to learn before I could pull the final rip cord.

Sorry for that unfortunate mixed metaphor.

And…so… getting to 14 days again may still be 14 looooooong days (I’m impatient, it’s true), but it’s already easier. I’m not saying it’s going to be a walk in the park, or that my 27 years of drinking habits aren’t going to be smacking me in the face from time-to-time, but I’m already noticing that I’ve gone a long way toward breaking that nightly habit of buying a bottle of wine on the way home from work and drinking my way to the bottom of it before heading to bed. A long way.

And just as importantly, it’s clear that my little “test/experiment” last weekend (after my not-so-awesome very first AA meeting – I’ll try another meeting sometime) DID trigger me and opened a chink in my still-fragile armor, making it easier for me to justify (in typical twisted wine addict brain brilliance) pushing out a “start date” to begin again.

Wow, that was quite a run-on sentence. There was a lot to pack in!

Basically, I learned that “just one” awakens the beast that I’ve been working so hard to kill. That constant noise in my head. That daily pull toward the wine counter. That complete fallacy that I need wine to have a connected, vibrant, fulfilling life.

Ass hole wine goblin is insidious that way. He’s voracious and sneaky and ever-so-greedy, and is NEVER satisfied. He makes promises he NEVER keeps. What a jerk face.

But now I’ve got his number.

SO! 100 days from today is March 9, 2016. Holy cow.

I’ve also finally managed to get a handle on putting anything within arms reach that isn’t bigger than my head (sometimes it was a close call) INTO MY MOUTH, so I’m hoping to have a happy reverse of this disconcerting weight gain I experienced over the last few weeks.

Because OH HELL NO. Bigger jeans just ain’t happening. No bueno. Popcorn is my friend. Heh.

So, here we are on December 1. (Seriously, how did THAT happen?) I already have a couple of days (again) AF under my belt, but today is the first day of the next 100 days! {{trumpets sounding}}

I have a business trip coming this weekend that I’m going to need to be extra-prepared for, but knowing I’m not drinking (fecking poison) NO MATTER WHAT is already relieving some of my stress about having to answer questions.

I’m on a 100-day challenge, BITCHES! 🙂

Rachel.

Day 1 (plus 2, but who’s counting?)

 

 

 

 

15 thoughts on “December 1: The 100-day Challenge begins

  1. Woo hoo!
    Nice job. And good payoff! You impressed the right people at work!
    I often consider my not sober last year as my contemplation stage. It was where I tried different things and although none worked, I could see them as attempts and learn from them.
    Before now I expect I rarely had 10 days in a row except when pregnant.
    How did that become 2 years?
    One day at a time.
    It actually helps with everything. Stress, drinking,food.
    Just focus on today.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. You can do it!!! You’ve got a great start under your belt! I too went through a contemplation stage. Now, I’m a little over a month shy of one year! I wish you the best with your challenge. You will love the sound sleeps, rejuvenating mornings, productivity and lack of regret coming your way 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Sounds fantastic. i love how you handled that party. And don’t you just love cycling in the rain! I really get what you said about preparation. It’s important to know that kind of thing about yourself. When I go wrong it’s because I am ignoring the way I already know I am, if that makes sense. Anyway, hooray you! xo

    Liked by 1 person

    • That makes total sense, thirsty! Me too… I really do think the first step is self-awareness — and next is the willingness to do what it takes to take care of ourselves. My challenge to myself now, for example, is getting more sleep. Going to bed earlier no matter what fun I’m having or how much I may not “feel like it.” For me it’s critical to my success.

      Like

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