The Law of Attraction

It’s past my bedtime, so I’d better make this quick. Getting to bed on time is one of my most important self-care tools, after all. I feel loads better today than I did yesterday, and it helped that I talked to my life coach, C., today and she was awesome, as usual.

I told her about the juice bar date I had with the guy who said he hardly ever drinks except sometimes when he’s entertaining a client for work — and what a relief that was. And that when he asked me to dinner and I told him I didn’t eat meat (but I’ll eat fish), he didn’t skip a beat and came up with suggestions for sushi or other restaurants…

Sweet.

“That’s so great!” she said. “That’s the kind of person you want, someone who shares and supports your lifestyle!”

And I told her about a guy at work who just started paying (a little too much) attention to me (when it rains, it pours), and asked me if I’d be interested in going out “for a drink.” Still buzzing from the day before when the SMART therapist asked me, “Why not just say ‘I don’t drink’?” instead of making up excuses, I managed to answer the work guy with, “Well, I haven’t really been drinking.” 

He also didn’t seem phased. He said, “Well, a drink doesn’t have to be alcohol… it can be any kind of drink.” Turns out, he’s been training for marathons the last several years and hardly ever drinks. “I can feel it affect my training when I do,” he said, and added, “So…you are a healthy person…” It was kind of a statement and kind of a question.

“I try,” I answered, suddenly feeling a bit shy about the whole thing. I hadn’t really thought about myself that way, but in that moment I was reminded that this is a positive thing, not drinking. A very healthy and good thing. I feel nothing but positive about the fact that I don’t eat meat — and it is also really healthy, even though that’s not my first motivation. It will take some time and practice (lots of practice), but I look forward to reflexively feeling the same way about living life alcohol free.

C. was thrilled. “I just love how you are attracting people into your life who share your values.”

The Law of Attraction. I believe it, and man, I’ve been working hard to turn my life, my energy, myself around. Some people believe we all have a frequency, and we attract people into our lives who operate on the same frequency. Good, bad, high, low, functional, disfunctional, healthy, unhealthy, and so on.

I want my frequency to be positive and healthy and passionate and uplifting, and quitting drinking is a huge part of that. And that’s who I want to attract into my life too.

Baby steps. 🙂

Rachel. Day 5.

9 thoughts on “The Law of Attraction

  1. Rachel – You’re doing so well! I’m so happy for you!

    Early on, I was very self-conscious about what I’d tell friends/dates about my new life without alcohol. I used to practice saying, “Oh I don’t drink, been there done that” and I always had a follow-up response ready in case they said things like, “WHY?” or “Oh come on, just have one” and my response I was prepared to give was always defensive and even a little bitchy. Thankfully I didn’t have to pull that out very often.

    Now I realize that I was only talking to myself. I owe no one an explanation for my lifestyle and in reality, no one cares if you don’t make a big deal out it. I have guys ask me out for a “drink” and I meet them, yes sometimes in a bar, and I order a club soda. Most times they don’t even ask but if they do, I just tell them I don’t drink. If you say it with confidence, few will press you further.

    Quiet confidence that YOU’RE doing the right thing for yourself is all you need. The rest of the world will deal with it 🙂

    Keep going!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Yes! This is what I’m just beginning to get a glimpse of and it feels so good. So freeing. Thank you for this perspective. Quiet confidence that I’m doing the right thing for me, and it’s not shameful (of course it’s not). I’m loving the discovery that there actually is the space to relax into this and own it because it’s good for me and the rest really will be ok. I won’t be rejected – at least by anyone who matters. 🙂

      Like

  2. As as I was reading your post, I wondered “WHY are we so embarrassed to say we don’t drink?” Why can’t it be the same as saying “I don’t eat meat”? We don’t say that with a sense of shame, do we? We say that with a sense of pride. We don’t worry that people aren’t going to like us if we don’t eat meat with them, we don’t worry about people thinking we are not fun if we don’t eat meat with them…why should we feel differently about not drinking. Interesting…

    Liked by 2 people

    • Exactly. That’s what I’m wondering too. Meat is certainly (almost?) as powerful a programmed cultural force in our culture. Sure, it’s not addictive, and there isn’t the same level of marketing delivering the message that we are sexy and fun (or will have sex and fun) if we eat meat. But still. There is a cultural pressure for sure. I’m going to work on on thinking about it in the same way, and practice, with quiet confidence (as NowLetsGo so elequenly said), saying, “I don’t drink.”

      Liked by 1 person

  3. A DRINK doesn’t have to be alcoholic, he is so right! My first AF night out ever in January, went to a late xmas party and one of the guys there gave a cheers to everyone, so I cheers’ back with my *cranberry soda-lime*… a few seconds later someone told him I wasn’t “drinking”. He took back his cheers (he actually said this), “you’re not drinking, I take back my cheers”. I replied, “what I have in my hand IS a drink hey, just doesn’t have alcohol”. He wasn’t too happy. So lame though!

    The marathon runner you mentioned… he’s right, drinking totally hinders the training. My running is so hard after drinking… I got a half marathon in 2 months… time to stay sober!

    Love your blog, always reading it thanks for sharing 🙂 – jess

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Hi Rachel!
    I am happy you were willing to step out of comfort zone!
    It’s not easy at first.
    People who really care about us would never make us feel bad or shamed if we don’t drink alcohol.
    In fact, that’s even strange I had to write that!
    Happy Day 6 now!
    xo
    Wendy

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thanks, Wendy! I think the hard part for me is when I’m getting to know someone and I’m still in that (what I perceive to be as) fragile place of acceptance. Like my boss or a new date … I’m learning to own it and have that quiet confidence in what is good for me, regardless. I’m actually seeing now that people I might care about will actually respect me more if I am solid in who I am. If I own it. 🙂

      And thank you! Day 6!

      Liked by 1 person

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