Saturday: Part 1.
I’m headed to rowing this morning for the first time in a couple of weeks. I was out of town for some of it, but if I’m honest, I haven’t been for the most part because I needed a break. And last week my mood was down and I didn’t go to bed Friday until very late. 1:30 a.m. or something crazy. I was ruminating and spinning and feeling lonely (Danger!), and I realized it was more important to get a full night’s sleep — even if it meant missing rowing. That was probably the right call — it turned out to be the unplanned Day 1 — but still. My first day of re-entry on the water in a while and my hand callouses (my badges of honor!) have dramatically shrunk. Boo.
At the recommendation of my coach, C., I bought the book “The Depression Cure” and a sun lamp. I’ve been feeling down for weeks, which is too long, and I think it’s just the record-breaking wet winter we’ve had here in Seattle (I need light). I want to do whatever I can to avoid medication, if possible. I’m not anti-meds when they’re needed. Not at all. But I’ll try natural remedies first. And I’m actually feeling better this week, by a lot.
Maybe it’s the boys paying attention to me. That always feels good.
Maybe it’s the impending spring (flowers are blooming!).
Maybe it’s shifts at work and my trip to Europe (for work) is less than 3 weeks away!
Maybe it’s me coming to terms with some things in a healthy way and choosing to be grateful. Choosing Grace.
Maybe it’s just natural rhythms and a little bit of everything.
Whatever it is, I am grateful.
And now, off to rowing!
Rachel. Day 8.