It’s Friday night and I’m still sober. Toot toot.
It’s been two weeks and today was my day off. It was a busy day of errands, then a short nap, and lots of reading. I can’t complain. I’m noticing an odd craving for wine, even though I don’t want it at all, at the same time. It’s easy for me to walk it through to the conclusion in my mind, and it’s all negative. All of it, including regret, shame, fear of doing or saying something stupid. Makes me tense just thinking about it.
I guess that’s the wine harpy again. Giving it a go. Seeing if she can spot weakness.
When I really examine it, I think what I’m *really* craving is pleasure. I used to satisfy that craving almost entirely with wine (and a little chocolate) and part of the discovery now is learning how to find pleasure in my life every day, without wine. That’s different from boredom – I’m not at all bored. I’m just on a mission for pleasure, every day. What a great challenge to have, actually.
Rachel. Day 14.