I’m packing today for a move at the end of the month. I’m sad to be moving, so there’s THAT, and I decided to pack up all of my wine glasses and put them in a box, which I don’t plan to unpack in my new place. I won’t be needing them.
Wolfie has been whispering in my ear: “Won’t you need them? EVER? Aren’t you ever going to entertain again? You’re never drinking wine ever again? Aren’t you ever going to be NOOORMAL?”
Thanks for making this even harder, Wolfie.
I know drinking basically a bottle of red wine a night like I was isn’t normal, and there’s no going back to “normal.” (Although, as Ainsobriety rightly points out: being sober is actually our normal state…) But dayum, I’m completely triggered. All that romance and community and sensuous living I’ve tied to those glasses for so many years, smashing headlong into the new reality I’m creating. The new normal.
I said out loud, “I don’t need to decide any of that now! Leave me alone!” And I don’t.
I could keep them (will I need them to entertain? This mythical *someday* that hasn’t happened since i got divorced more than four years ago?) or I could gift them all to friends. I have no idea what to do with all that stuff right now, but I don’t have to figure it out today. I can store it away and decide later.
Man, that was a sucky moment. I’m still reeling. I’m not going to drink but I do wish I had someone to give me a long hug. Preferably a tall, handsome someone? Hehe.
Ah well. 🙂
I can be sad now. I can let myself feel that. Thinking about forever right now is too much. I’ll just commit to today.
And I will make my new apartment cozy and mine and full of only things that bring me joy. It won’t have an amazing view that makes me happy, but it will have upsides I don’t expect, I’m sure. And as for the mythical *someday* when I might wish for those wine glasses out of the box…I guess I’ll cross that bridge when I come to it.